Our Beautiful Disaster HikaruHaruhi
by The Clam Whisperer
Summary: She vowed to never forgive him, he vowed to never forget her, but who says promises are easy to keep? Hikaru Hitachiin, 23 years old and the President of Hitachiin desigining industry has the perfect life. Money, fame, fans, and a goregeous fiance. What e
1. Hikaru: It's a Sweet Life

**Author's Gutter: Yush! It's my first Ouran High School Host Club fic! The idea came to me in a dream a few nights ago, and I've been planning it out ever since then. OHSHC has become my new obsession recently, but I hadn't been able to think of a good plot until now. This is for all the HikaruxHaruhi fans out there! I lurve Tama-chan and Nekozawa-senpai, but I just had to write this instead. Perhaps a NekoxHaruhi one-shot will be spawned. –evil laugh-**

**SO! Kick back, relax and watch the drama unfold before your very eyes. Oh, one more thing. You see that truly beguiling button near the bottom that says 'Review'? If you love OHSHC and you know it, leave a review! Yush, please leave reviews. . **

**Title: Our Beautiful Disaster**

**Author: Ultra Violet is a Wicked Spell **

**Pairing: HikaruxHaruhi, implied TamakixHaruhi**

**Rating: Teen for language and suggestive themes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or it's characters. If I did would I be creating fan fiction? I created Ayaka though.**

I'll keep you my **dirty** _little_ secret.  
Don't tell **anyone** or you'll be just another _regret_,  
Just _another_ regret, hope that **you** can keep it  
My _dirty_ little **secret**.  
Who has to **know**?

Everyone has a few dirty little secrets which have been swept cunningly under the rug. Some sins you wouldn't even begin to consider that someone such as them, were capable of committing. Nevertheless, people need to lie, deceive and commit misdemeanors to get by in the world we subsist in today, but can a clandestine so purely intoxicating, a offense that feels so right to commit really be all that foul?

"Here we have the ball gown, which is absolutely the most formal and traditional type of dress. The ball gown is complete with a fitted bodice, and an elegantly full bell shaped skirt, "A prim and proper toned woman stated, holding a dress catalog up to a seemingly perfect couple.

"It does look quite beautiful, actually." The airy, melodic voice of the bride-to-be replied, desperately trying to mask the utter enthusiasm creeping into her tenor. Suddenly, the elder woman's prudent, stormy grey eyes lit up with the spark of inspiration. "Though, perhaps the sheath style dress would be more fitting for you, darling. With your petite body and graceful curves, it would most definitely make your guests gawk at your perfect form."

The wedding planner motioned to a pure white dress which was most clearly to be described as a slim sheath silhouette that closely follows the line of the body. Her magenta manicured nails swept across the page, to stop upon the many types of necklines. "Here, darling is where you can choose which type of neckline would best suit you." She explained to the ecstatic young blonde.

"I particularly like the bodice with spaghetti straps. What do you think, Hikaru-kun?" The excited woman asked, turning her sparkling cerulean eyes towards the future groom. The young man was currently staring off into space, as if there was some sort of black hole beyond the rack of spiffy prom dresses. This handsome specimen was Hikaru Hitachiin, 23 years old, and apparently not very enthusiastic about dress selection.

"Hikaru-kun?" The blonde repeated, inquiring one slender, waxed, blonde eyebrow at the preoccupied young man. It took a good three seconds before Hikaru realized he was being stared at, but managed to feel two sets of eyes burning into the side of his head. "Huh?" He blinked in an oblivious fashion, turning his head to stare at the two curious women.

"Hikaru-kun, I said 'what do you think about this?'." The blonde stated with that melodic voice of hers, dotting the bodice and spaghetti strap dress in the upper right corner of the catalog. The cinnamon haired young man locked on to the said garment with his calculating amber eyes, giving the dress the interrogation of a fashion designer.

"I don't know, Ayaka-chan. Wouldn't you rather use one of the dresses that my industry makes?" Hikaru ventured, giving the dresses a somewhat snippy glance. From his comment, he could tell that the lady was affronted with him, but hey, why the hell should he care? He was part of a major designing industry after all. He had it all. Money, fame, a gorgeous fiancé, a nice cushy executive seat in his mother's company, a house that could make both Tom Cruise and Donald Trump green with envy, and everything he could ever want.

"Hmph. Well, I'm sorry that our dresses don't meet your standards, Mr…?" The worker scoffed, hinting that she wanted to know this arrogant young man's name. Hikaru gave her an ostensibly sincere smile, before replying in a somewhat cliché manner, "Hitachiin. Hikaru Hitachiin." The wealthy fashion designer's smile grew with relish upon seeing the astounded expression on the woman's Botox endorsed face.

"Uh, I-I-I, " The woman babbled incoherently, looking so scandalized that you just might expect the graying hair beneath her dyed locks to emerge from the stress. "Come, Ayaka-chan. I think our business here is complete." Hikaru declared, lifting his Ralph Lauren blazer from the suede loveseat, and proceeding to stride towards the door, Italian leather shoes thudding against the woodwork.

The young blonde, Ayaka, bit her lip in embarrassment, and turned towards the babbling worker to send her an apologetic glance and a slight bow. "Arigatou, for your help, ma'am!" She thanked the woman, and followed the stubborn brunette out the door.

Once the glass door swung shut behind their backs, Ayaka fell into stride beside her clearly amused groom-to-be. "Hikaru-kun, why did you have to do that?" She pressed, tossing him a disappointed glance with her dissatisfied, azure eyes. The obstinate young Hitachiin averted his pleased amber eyes from his fiancé's, only to arrogantly reply, "I didn't particularly like the dresses they had there. I don't want my fiancé to be adorned in something fit for a commoner."

Commoner. Just why did that word roll off the tip of his tongue with such ease? A word that was supposed to be insulting and condemned shouldn't be this much pleasurable to say, and it certainly shouldn't make the prosperous young heir feel depressed.

His slender brows furrowed, for the nostalgic properties that word possessed could pull him head first into another bittersweet memory, one that would plague his thoughts until kingdom come. Almost mournfully, Hikaru sighed as he could hear the voices of years past ringing in his ears.

"_Arigatou, Hikaru…."_

What? Where was that voice coming from!

"_The ice cream here is supposed to be famous. Here, taste it!"_

Holding the sides of his head, trying to block out the sound that was seemingly coming out of nowhere, Hikaru wondered just why he was hearing this soft, delicate voice all of a sudden. Also, why did this haunting voice disable him from feeling his heart, and make him want to fall apart?

"_Hikaru…"_

No. Stop. Leave me alone!

_"Hikaru…"_

Damn it all! Who the hell are you!

"_Here, taste it!"_

No, I will not taste your damn ice cream!

"Hikaru-kun!"

Snapping out of the dazed state he was forced to endure, Hikaru opened his eyes to behold Ayaka standing in front of him, with both hands gently shaking his shoulders. "Hikaru-kun?" She inquired, concern brimming in her bright azure eyes.

"W-Wha-? What happened?" Hikaru asked in an oblivious fashion, shaking his head as if there was water stuck within his ears. Ayaka gave him a calculating glance, but informed him, "Well, first you said that you didn't want me dressed in commoner wear, and then you stopped walking, and sort of began muttering to yourself. Next, you began holding the sides of your head, like you were in pain, and then you yelled at me, 'No, I will not taste your ice cream….'"

She stared at the very embarrassed Hikaru, whom was realizing how awkward the situation must have been for Ayaka. "Ah, sorry." He muttered, scratching the back of his neck in an attempt to prevent the scarlet blush from crossing his cheeks.

"Hikaru-kun, have you, um, taken your medication today?" Ayaka ventured, but it was evident that she didn't want to press this subject. She cast the eldest Hitachiin an anxious glance, clearly worried for his well being. Hikaru bobbed his head up and down, it was his way of saying 'yes', but just to clarify it for her, he smiled, "Yeah, I took it before I met you at the shop."

An unquestioning smile graced Ayaka's cherry lips, giving her stunningly beautiful face an almost inhuman glow. She then wrapped her slim arms around her fiancé's well muscled left arm, giving him a short, appreciative embrace, which she concluded by intertwining her delicate fingers with his. "Aishiteru, Hikaru." She blissfully sighed, tightening her grip on his hand lovingly.

Hikaru radiated a small smile, but for some odd reason he didn't say that he loved her too. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't say those words from the bottom of his heart. He never had been able to say them with every fiber of his soul sewn into the syllables, not since what happened two years ago.

Furrowing his brows, banishing the unpleasant thoughts from his conscious, Hikaru kept his amber gaze ahead. Their destination was the corner of Magnolia Street, where the limousine was parked, waiting for them. He could feel the many stares of citizens, casting the limo many curious and impressed looks, and it gave him some pride to know that people actually noticed a rich designer when they saw one. There once was a time when Hikaru would relish to see people staring at the expensive cars that he rode in, it amused him to see the gawks plastered on the people's faces, but now…for some reason, he didn't get nearly as much amusement out of the spectacle as he used to.

"Konnichiwa, Hitachiin-san." The driver welcomed, opening the sleek obsidian door for he and Ayaka to slide in. Hikaru allowed Ayaka to slip in first; being the gentleman he was expected to be. He followed her after she was comfortably seated on the leather seat, drinking champagne from the wine-glass stationed near the window.

Once Hikaru was accommodated with champagne and caviar, the door slammed shut and the driver stuck the key into the ignition. With a graceful '**_vroom_**', the limousine roared to life, and was swiftly soaring down the street. Hikaru took a small sip of the expensive liquid, wondering where that voice he had heard minutes prior had originated from.

Ayaka must have taken notice to his puzzled expression, because she lowered the tube of lipstick from her lips, and stared at him for a few moments. "Hikaru-kun, are you sure you are all right? You look quite troubled…Are you positive you took your medication?"

Hikaru unintentionally snapped back, "Yes, for the hundredth time I have taken my medication! Cant a person be a little troubled from time to time?" The startled look upon Ayaka's face softened the frown plastered on Hikaru's face, causing him to realize that he went too far.

Sighing, Hikaru began, "Look, I'm sorry. I just haven't been sleeping well lately, so I'm a little out of it." Ayaka silently nodded at his reasoning, for it was pretty obvious that Hikaru did not like discussing his 'problem'. "It's all right, Hikaru-kun."

About a year ago, the people around Hikaru pressed him to go in for testing, for his infamous bursts of yells and ill-tempered retorts were becoming more and more severe. It was later diagnosed that Hikaru had bi-polar disorder, and that he had been sick with it for the majority of his life. The fact that his twin brother, Kaoru, had not been diagnosed with the sudden fits of rage was a bewildering prospect, but even though bi-polar disorder could be genetic Kaoru was selfless and normal to an extent.

The many episodes where Hikaru would become depressed all began to fit into the picture, and his sudden mood-swings were also helping to build the puzzle. The delusions and paranoid thoughts that plagued Hikaru's mind were now receiving treatment, and so far he hadn't had a major outburst for the better part of the year.

Bi-polar disorder could result in violent and destructive mood swings, mood swings where Hikaru could possibly hurt the people around him or himself. Thus, Ayaka was constantly asking him if he remembered to take his pills, Hikaru wasn't sure whether she was concerned for his safety or her own though. Both Hikaru and his twin brother seemed to have endless ducts of energy coursing throughout their bodies, but the root of the energy was soon discovered for the eldest Hitachiin. Bi-polar disorder possessed the state of Hypomania. Hypomania is a less severe form of mania without progression to psychosis. Many of the symptoms of mania are present, but to a lesser degree than in overt mania. People with hypomania are generally perceived as being energetic, euphoric, overflowing with new ideas, and sometimes highly confident and charismatic, and unlike full-blown mania, they are sufficiently capable of coherent thought and action to participate in everyday life

That was the possible cause for all the energy and charisma Hikaru possessed, but since Kaoru had the same nature, they weren't quite sure if that was the cause. It would explain the sexual drive, irritability, paranoia, and aggression Hikaru was famed for in the long run though. "Hikaru-kun, you have to meet with Kaoru-chan today for bussiness?" Ayaka asked, deciding to leave the previous argument alone.

"Yeah, we need to go over copyrights for the industry or something. You have to work tonight?" Hikaru informed her, followed by a question for her to answer. Ayaka nodded, tossing a few strands of perfectly styled blonde hair over her shoulder, so that she could see her compact more efficently.

"Hai, Aruto called me in for a photo shoot tonight." She told him, but busied herself with her makeup nonetheless. Ayaka was a fashion and makeup model for many major companies such as Loreal and Mayballine, thus she was usually busy with her work. Hikaru couldn't say he was pleased that she was usually occupied with her work, but he knew that they wouldn't have met if she wasn't in the same bussiness as he was.

"_It might have been for the best if she wasn't though…"_ Hikaru pondered, wondering what life could be like without hit comittment to Ayaka. It was not that he didn't care for her, but he could not truthfully say that he was in love with her. Their union would promote his desigining company, and with Ayaka's fame and assets, the company would no doubt strive higher than anyone could have ever imagined.

After all, as he learned back in high school, Wealth first, Lineage second. Hikaru exhaled in a somewhat depressed manner, but Ayaka had learned that he didn't want to be iterrogated any further. Resting the back of his head against the warm leather seat, Hikaru wondered, "_I've got everything I ever wanted, so why…why am I so miserable?"_

His eyes trailed towards the window, where he saw that the sky toady was exceptionally clear. It was so blue and endless, it made Hikaru wish he could just forget everything and fly away like one of the many birds flying in a V shaped pattern. _"Heh, but life isn't that simple is it?"_

Thinking about freedom made him wonder how the his friends were doing. He and Tamaki were no longer on good terms, but he couldn't help pondering where Mori, Honey, and Kyouya got to in life. Of course they talked and saw each other from time to time, but they did not have nearly the same close relationship as they used to. For whatever reason, he couldn't remember where they got to in life, only the way they were back in high school.

Did Honey become a shishou at a dojo, a master warrior who commanded armies and marines, but still had that 'too cute to be legal' appearance? Did he still carry Bun-Bun around with him? Was Kyouya ever able to outdo his elder brothers, and be selected and accepted by his smothering father? Had Mori stuck with Honey for this long, and was he still trailing after him and protecting him like a guard dog? Was he still able to uphold the title of kendo national champion?

Did Haruhi ever reach her one true goal?

Suddenly, Hikaru felt a twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that could only be described with one word. Butterflies. _"What in the hell…?"_ Hikaru thought. That familiar yet distant sensation of having your pulse racing with the mix of the butterflies confused Hikaru to a great extent. He hadn't felt butterflies like that for…two years. Why did her name cause such inexplainable sensations for him? That name had the power to thrill, cripple, injure, and heal him all at the same time! How on Earth was one name capable of accomplishing such a feat!

There was once a time when Hikaru could stride up to her, knowing she'd be right where she always was, and playfully sling his arm around her shoulders and poke her soft, ivory cheeks. A time where he could say anything, and keep anything hidden, but she would be able to tell what he was thinking. She was the only one who could actually answer correctly in the 'Which is Hikaru' game. She was the only intruder to ever dare to enter the secluded and eternal winter of his world.

She was the only one…

As if some great tradgedy happened within the span one second, Hikaru felt so lonley, despite having his fiance only feet away from him. He felt cold, lost and alone… The same way he felt in that eternal world of winter. The thought of that scene two years ago pulled and tugged at Hikaru's heartstrings, making the pain all the worse. Knowing he could never touch her cheeks again… _"Haruhi…"_

Letting his sorrowful gaze stray back up towards the clear, open, sky, Hikaru asked in a hushed tone, "_Are you looking at the same sky, Haruhi?"_

**_Author's Gutter: Well, there you have the first chapter! I just had to make Hikaru bi-polar, it fits so well! xD Anyhow, tell me what you thought of that chapter. Reviewers will be given cookies and OHSHC bishounen! So, REVIEW LIKE THE WIND!_**

Chapter 2 Preview (hey, that rhymes!): A day in the new life of renowned lawyer, Haruhi Fujioka. Or should I say…Haruhi Suou…? –cliffhanger-


	2. Haruhi: This Emptiness

**Author's Gutter**: Holy crepe. I never meant for the time between these chapters to wind up being so extravagant. Gomenasai, everyone! Life has been quite busy these few...months, so I didn't have much time to put my heart into the chapter, which I am still moderately unsatisfied with.

First order of bussiness: I've been itching to say this. AR-I-GA-TOU! All the reviews made me so happy! I'm glad that you are all enjoying this and want to read more of it! Thank you all, once again. xD

Second: Since the end of the Ouran occured while this was in the making, I had to work out some kinks, but it all fits now. x3

Third: Another character makes an appearance in this chapter, someone we all know and love. Actually, two we all know and love make appearances.

**Disclaimer**: I do not, in any way, own these characters, the story Ouran High School Host Club, which was created by the great Bisco Hatori. The limo driver is mine...Oh, how proud I am...

Now, children! GO! READ! **REVIEW**!

* * *

_ I should tell you, I'm **disaster**, I forget how to begin it. _

_.Let's just make this part go faster, I have yet to be in it._

_:I should tell **you**...:_

* * *

**.Fuji**_oka._

"Will the defendant please rise?"

From the oak stand, a very greasy and very pimply man rose, his left eye twitching in an edgy manner. From the left, the bailiff, let's call him 'Jim', waddled up towards the stand, holding a bible in his wrinkly hands. The bailiff, Jim, held the bible out towards the defendant. Putting on his best 'I'm-going-to-try to-be-serious-but-all-I-can-think-about-is-the-donuts-waiting-in-my-office' face, Jim asked in that stressed monotone we all know, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you GOD!?"

The greasy little man shrank back, his eyes darting from side to side, as if watching a non-existent tennis match. Finally, he mustered up the courage and squeaked, "I can't sir…" The spider vein in Jim's forehead pulsed dangerously. His lips pursed into some double-chinned meatloaf as he asked, "You _can't_?

"Sir…I'm an atheist."

The courtroom was silent, people coming to the realization that not every person in the world was Catholic. Just what do people who don't believe in God do in a courtroom situation?! Jim, oh simple gluttonous Jim, was one of those bigoted people who couldn't cope with a little unique distinction. It was Jim's way or the highway!

But Vi needs to stop ranting about the elderly bailiff and get on with the story…

Jim's aging slate eyes narrowed at the human potato fryer, piercing the man's flesh with some ancient form of creeping one out. Probably the Twitchy no Jutsu.

Jim's mouth opened with a roar of, "Well back in my day we had a sense of justice! We had to walk _fifteen_ miles just to get to the local courthouse! Sometimes in the snow-no, in the middle of a blizzard! Well I remember this one time, Pappy had hit another pedestrian in his jalopy, the old coot was going blind I tell you. And I ha-,"

"Fujuku-san!"

Turning around with a sharp crack in his hips, Jim adjusted his wire rimmed glasses and peered at the figure that was standing with an exasperated expression. "Mmyes, counselor?" Jim croaked, finding the need to scratch himself before everyone in the courtroom. Holding her ground beside the mahogany table, one ivory hand resting on her briefcase, Suou Haruhi sighed, her very aura drained and perturbed with this old man.

"Fujuku-san, do you think we could begin now," She inquired, casting the feeble bailiff a pleading expression with her large mesmerizing eyes. Jim nodded with a reply of, "Well, I reckon that might be good. Continue, folks." Exiting the room with a slow gait, his back bent in a permanent arch, Jim noisily hacked in the hall, causing the jurors to exchange amused looks.

Haruhi would be lucky if she could get the jurors to even think about the case without laughing. Still, this was her dream and she intended to fulfill it. It had been over fifteen years since her mother's death, and she still refused to let go of this dream. Her mother, Fujioka Kotoko had been a brilliant lawyer with an unbreakable will. Those were just a few things that Haruhi inherited from her.

"_Mother in heaven, it's been so many years since you passed, but I've made it."_

Striding up to the stand with newfound strength and inspiration, Haruhi began to interrogate Sir Oily-san, starting off with simple inquiries.

"Rokansu-san, where were you on December fourteenth at six fifty seven in the afternoon?"

A few seconds passed, which motivated Haruhi to glance up, only to find her defendant holding a lit match between his thumb and index finger, gazing into it with ecstasy. Blinking once, Haruhi cocked one slender umber eyebrow at him before asking, "Rokansu-san?" He had seemed to hear her, but his eyes never left the flickering flame. When those onyx orbs finally did stray towards her, it was for a split second.

"Have you ever looked at fire?" His voice was absolutely giddy, his eyes widening to a fanatical extent. Haruhi's instincts told her to back away and call the bailiff, but that meant bringing Jim back.

She'd stick with the nutjob with the match.

Haruhi exhaled again, hearing the snickers of the jury was frustrating enough but now she had a greasy firebug to deal with. She just _had_ to take the overtime hours for work. Right now, she'd like nothing more than to curl up in bed and just let life pass her by. After all, it wasn't much of a life. Even with-

"Suou-san?"

Turning towards the heavy copse doors, Haruhi noticed her secretary, Maki, peeking in with an anxious apologetic smile. Unable to suppress the sigh rearing up from her exhausted soul, Haruhi turned to face the room with a bow. "Gomenasai. Could we postpone this trial?" Her voice was repentant, but it lacked any effort or interest. The spirit was missing from her once melodic tone.

The judge grunted his approval, his chin resting on his folded hands, clearly as bored with the case as the jurors were. "We will resume tomorrow at eighty thirty. Court is adjourned." Not bothering to wait for the judge to smash his mallet, Haruhi left for the door, her eyes telling the story of her ennui.

"Maki, what's wrong?" Haruhi was naturally concerned, but the humdrum life she had grown into was smothering her ability to sound convincing. Walking alongside the big time lawyer, Maki brushed a strand of raven hair behind her ear, trying to find the proper words to say. "Well, Suou-san, I know you said that you didn't want any visitors, but he just wouldn't take no for an answer."

Oh, Kami. There was only one person Maki could be talking about. It had to be-

"HAAARUHIIII!"

"Dear God no…"

No sooner had she uttered those words than had a hurtling mass of muscle collided with her, practically knocking her to the ground. She got a mouthful of radiant blonde hair as she was brought into a twirling embrace, her feet leaving the ground with the force of the vortex. "Haruhi, I couldn't wait till you came home to see you!" Finally released from his iron grip, Haruhi took a few deep breaths before looking up at her husband.

If it were possible, he had become even more beautiful in these past years than he had been when they were in high school. His dark lavender eyes were brighter than usual today, and even his hair seemed more flaxen than she was accustomed to. Tamaki might not have been the brightest crayon in the box, but his looks just about covered his lack of common sense.

Just about.

Yet, Haruhi couldn't deny that even her admiration for his good looks was fading. Tamaki was beautiful, but his visage held no attraction for her anymore. She loved him, of course she loved him! He was always so warm, so understanding and so loving, but it wasn't like she could just snap her fingers to make the feeling disappear.

"Hai, hai, Tamaki. What's wrong," She breathed, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. Blinking, the Princely man leaned forward, tenderly cupped the lawyer's porcelain cheeks in his hands, cradling her face in a tender fashion.

"Does something have to be wrong for me to wish to witness the visage of such a beautiful creature?" His voice was velvety, seductive and well experienced. Yet, it had no effect on her whatsoever. "Baka," She grumbled, harshly pinching the back of his hand.

Reeling backwards, faux tears streaming from his horrified lilac eyes, Tamaki bawled, "Haruhi is so cruel!" Watching him wail brought back memories of their days in the Host Club. Back then, Tamaki would have gone crying to placid, reserved Kyouya instead of falling to the floor like the oaf he was. Actually, in all probability he would have done that as well.

Pondering that, Haruhi wondered why everyone had fallen out of touch over these years. True, they had seen Kyouya about two months ago, but it was a succinct meeting that only heightened the rift between them. When they had seen him, the shadow king had been just as she recalled: restrained and mellow. Unbeleviably, he had become even more lucrative than he had been back at Ouran. Hunny had also phoned a few weeks ago, his bubbly voice refreshing as ever. Even Mori managed a short grunt of greeting over the phone.

From what Hunny giggled at her, Kaoru was planning the high school reunion at Ouran, which was only a few short months away. Seriously, she was delighted to hear that Kaoru was doing well. She had always been fond of that mischievous knucklehead, after all. The way he'd saved her when that vase threatened to embed her with its shards, when he'd protected her in the chase after Tamaki, how she could have a normal conversation with him. Thinking about Kaoru reminded her of his reaction that day, the day where she swore that she would never forgive Hi-

Her abrupt intake of breath broke the memory enchantment, reminding her that she was never supposed to think of _him_ again. She'd promised herself this. That feeling in her chest had returned, the same pins-and-needles sensation she felt whenever the thought of him came to mind.

She couldn't explain it, but it was like someone had clenched her heart with an iron fist. Then again, it like she was being smothered, her nostrils overcome with water, drowning in a sea of suffocation. She had felt the feeling of drowning before, her very lungs trembling with the lack of oxygen and her heart working triple time in a futile attempt to protect her. If it hadn't been for Tamaki, she doubted she would have seen another dawn.

That's right.

It had been _Tamaki_, not **him.**

Shrugging the feeling off, she dismissed it for the thousandth time this year. It was all his fault that she felt like this, after all.

"Haruhi?"

She just realized that Tamaki had regained composure, and was now staring at her with a bemused expression. How long had he been calling her? "H-Hai," She inquired, tucking a strand of chocolate hair behind her ear. "I said that I need to go out of town for a few days."

Ah, how surprising. Tamaki always had to go out of town these days. That was one of the reasons to why there was such a distance growing between them.

"Ah…," She murmured, her hand clenching around the handle of her briefcase in an attempt to fight off the quivering sensation. She was sure that he could see the pain in her eyes, the dull reflection of despondency. Anyone could see it if they actually bothered to look at her with more than just a business face. Bending forward, Tamaki placed a hand against her cheek, his eyes mirroring her own misery. "It won't be for long," He encouraged. "Once this business deal is over, we can spend a lot of time together. We could even go to Atami!"

He was exerting so much effort to make her happy, who was she to feel resentment toward him for leaving her? Tama went on these trips to make sure that Haruhi could have a comfortable life in the upper class. Yet, all she really needed was someone to be with, to comfort her when the thunder clapped. Smiling ruefully, she remembered how her father once said that she either didn't know how to lean on someone or she was just that selfless.

The truth was: she wasn't as pure as her papa believed.

"That sounds great, Tamaki," She smiled, some color filling her pallid cheeks. "Kawaii," Tamaki shrilly cooed, spinning around with Haruhi in his arms. "Have you fallen for me again?" She chuckled at that, noticing that he had been asking her that since her first year of high school.

"Of course not."

Her voice was level, emotionless as he released her. The Suou heir's eyes bulged, a startled concerned emotion filling them. "N-Nani," He whimpered, hardly daring to believe this terrible bulletin. Instead, Haruhi brought herself up to her full height and lightly kissed him on the lips, "I can't fall any farther."

The young man's face was dyed a deep shade of scarlet which covered the entire span of his head. "Don't be so darn cute," He pleaded, sinking to his knees again. _"Here we go again," _Haruhi silently grumbled. "Tamaki, you're going to miss your plane again…," She reminded, recalling the last time her husband made a scene.

"Ah! Bravo, Haruhi! You've always had such a grip on time," He praised, leaping to his feet and darting down the hall with inhuman speed. "Aishiteru, Haruhi-chan," He shouted from the end of the hallway, accidentally smacking a receptionist in the back. Several nosy people poked their heads out from the offices upon hearing the ruckus.. "Hai, hai. Go!" Her voice was insisting, but on the inside she wished that she could just tell him to stay with her.

"Suou-san?"

Managing to pull herself away from the view of the now empty hallway, Haruhi faced Maki with a brave, expectant smile. "Don't forget, you have to go meet with two clients today. Your first appointment is in forty five minutes," Maki said, jogging Haruhi's memory. "_I forgot about that..." _Haruhi mentally kicked herself, banishing her weary demeanor.

"Arigatou, Maki," She chirped, waving at her as she started down the too-white hallway.

"_Need. Caffeine." _

Passing several of her co-workers, Haruhi exited through the atrium and was bathed in the fresh, crisp scent of the autumn air. She tucked her jacket securely around her before heading down the street, on a quest for a coffee shop where she could have some peace and quiet to clear her spinning head.

* * *

_:Hita_**chiin:**

"Daijoubu?"

"Nani," The Hitachiin beneficiary queried, lifting his head to face his mirror image. The facade staring back at him was identical to his own, every feature mimicking his own in a mystifying manner. His little brother, his twin, Kaoru, was giving him his patented 'what's wrong?' face. "Hikaru, what's wrong? You've seemed distracted all morning," Kaoru asked, his eyes unveiling the brotherly concern that he had always held for Hikaru.

The way his name rolled off his brother's tongue normally amused him, the way he emphasized the 'Hi', but it was nothing more than a thorn in his side this morning. "Gomen, Kaoru," He grumbled, averting his eyes from his doppelganger. Kaoru could read him like an open book, thus it was vexing for Hikaru to be in his company whilst trying to hide something from everyone.

"Hikaru…," Kaoru pressed. "I can tell when you're lying."

Hikaru's eyes darted back towards Kaoru, sharp as daggers. "Wonderful. Would you like a cookie?" He didn't mean to speak with such venom, especially when it was directed at Kaoru. Yet, Kaoru rolled his eyes, amused by the juvenile antics of his brother. "Before you tell me what's wrong, you might want to remove your elbow from the butter dish." Hikaru cocked an eyebrow at him, "I don't have my elbow in the bu-DAMN IT ALL!"

Several people shushed him from the neighboring tables.

"Bakas," He muttered, wiping the yellow goop off his suit with the nearest napkin. Kaoru's laughter drifted through his ears, soft little giggles that often reminded him of tinkling glass, "Can you believe it's not butter, Hikaru?"

Tee hee. Oh, Kaoru, you are so witty.

"_If I prattle on about something unimportant, maybe he'll forget about my problem…"_

Returning to his brother's gaze, a bright smile on his face now, he chirped, "So! Did you hear?"

Kaoru's head tilted to the side a bit, his eyes curious. "Hear what?"

That's it, Kaoru.

"Uh…ah….Mom caught the butler and the head maid making out in the closet,"

At this, Kaoru just stared at his elder brother, his face blank for a few moments. "That's….great," He replied, his eyes harmonizing with his befuddled tenor. "Not that I don't find the topic of our servants' sexual escapades thrilling, but why don't you tell me what has got you so upset?"

Crap.

"Did I mention that it was OUR closet?!" Hikaru was desperate now.

"Wonderful, bu-,"

"THE AMBASSADOR FROM ALBANIA IS PREGNANT!"

"Hikaru, the ambassador from Albania is a man."

"Did I say the ambassador?! I mean the ambassador's goat!"

"Hikaru, did you take your pills this morning?" Kaoru asked, leaning forward, his eyes suddenly alarmed.

"For Kami's sake! Yes! Would everyone please leave me alone about that?" Kaoru's little comment had drawn him out of the hysterics and brought a fresh slash of anger to his words. Just because he had a medical condition didn't mean that he needed to be instigated by his own brother. "Is my life some forgotten part of the Spanish Inquisition," Hikaru demanded, his tone growing louder with each syllable.

"Is that what's bothering you," Kaoru prodded, his hand closing over Hikaru's, gentle and soothing. The chestnut haired elder couldn't stand seeing his brother like this, like he expected him to shatter like a piece of glass. "No…not really," He surrendered, allowing Kaoru's fingers to intertwine with his own. Kaoru was the water to his fire, he always knew how to extinguish his anger.

"Tell me, Hikaru."

Sighing, Hikaru finally looked his brother in the eyes, praying that this was convincing. "Kaoru, it's nothing, okay?" How could he tell his own brother that he was thinking about Haruhi? After all Kaoru went through when he witnessed his own twin wrecking his life, how could he pull his best friend back into that dark void?

"Okay," Kaoru murmured, his eyes disappointed but his voice satisfied. He wouldn't force Hikaru to talk about it and he wouldn't carry a grudge about it. Just another trait he loved about his brother. "So, when's the meeting?" Hikaru asked, blatantly changing the subject. "That's what I was trying to tell you," Kaoru chuckled, instantly reminded of his brother's oblivious pause. "I can't make it to the meeting, something came up with Dad and he needs me to go home for a few hours. You'll have to go to the meeting alone, Hikaru."

"Kaoru," Hikaru pouted, emphasizing the 'ru' in the same manner Kaoru did to him, attempting to make his brother guilty. "You're a big boy now, Hikaru. You don't need me beside you all the time, right?" Kaoru was grinning, teasing him. His statement reminded Hikaru of how insecure Kaoru was about the boundaries growing between them a few years back, but it wasn't like the rift grew any larger.

"Didn't your mother tell you not to tease your elders," Hikaru growled, tossing his napkin beside his china cup. "Of course she did, right after she told you not to look up little girls' skirts," Kaoru parried, a Cheshire grin replacing his innocent smile. "Oh, it's on, little brother," Hikaru snapped, a smirk finally gracing his elegant face for the first time in days.

"Bring it on, nii-san," Kaoru purred, his hand snaking around Hikaru's tie. By now people were staring. The blush on each girl's face was scarlet, much like their customers were. Even the waitress, who had been standing there, but not mentioned till now, was resisting the urge to squeal at the spectacle.

"Hikaru," Kaoru whimpered, his eyes straying to all the Peeping Sallys. "People are staring! Indeed, people were doing more than staring. Several young ladies had slithered closer to the table, eyes yearning for more of the twincest. Several of their dates were glaring at the twins with blazing resentment.

"Let them look, Kaoru," Hikaru replied, cradling his brother's rosy cheek in his palm, his lips barely a breath away. He tossed the waitress, who appeared to be having a heart attack, a wink. "H-Here's your bill," She squeaked, thrusting a ledger forward. "Arigatou, hime," Hikaru smiled, accepting the bill graciously.

"N-No problem," She stammered, making a B-Line for the kitchen. Dropping the bill on to the table, Hikaru slipped 1000 yen into the pocket and grabbed his coat. "Let's go, slut-puppy," He beckoned, motioning to Kaoru.

As soon as they exited, hand in hand, the female patrons broke their glasses and probably the sound barrier with a piercing chorus of, "Kyah!"

The instant they were out of view, the brothers fell into a fit of laughs, clutching their sides to reduce the strain. "We're terrible, aren't we," Hikaru asked, leaning against the nearest building.

"Of course, dear brother. Why do you think they called us the Little Devil type back at Ou-…," Kaoru intentionally trailed off, aware of his folly by bringing school into the conversation. Already he could see the layer of steel settle over Hikaru's amber eyes. "But, Hikaru, you shouldn't have flirted with that waitress," He scolded, crossing his arms.

"Why?" Hikaru appreciated that Kaoru was straying away from certain topics for his sake, but it didn't mean that the feelings just disappeared with the new subject. "You're getting married, Hikaru! You shouldn't be flirting with random women when you'll be tying the knot with Ayaka-chan soon!"

Oh, Kaoru. The voice of reason.

"Exactly. I should live what's left of my life to the fullest before I am doomed to an eternity of matrimony." Kaoru's gaze softened at his words. Truly, he knew that his brother wasn't capable of loving Ayaka with all his heart. The fact that Hikaru had everything someone could ever desire, but was still miserable made the feeling all the more terrible. It seemed that the only one who could reach his heart was Haru-

"Kaoru, don't tell me the meeting is at three?!"

Kaoru looked up at the sudden panicked claim. "Hai, it's at three." Hikaru's pupils dilated at this news. "What time is it, Kaoru!?" He demanded, paling at the bulletin. Pulling the sleeve of his dark blue suit back, Kaoru stared at his golden Tiffany watch. "It's a quarter to….Oh, dear."

"Damn it all," Hikaru yelled, dashing down the street in a mad search for the limo. Watching his sibling scramble like the world was ending brought a smile to Kaoru's face; it meant that even though he was upset about something, he still had a grip on reality. "Go get 'em, Hikaru," Kaoru called, summoning his escort with a wave.

"Gee, thanks, Kaoru," Hikaru shouted, sprinting down Blythe Boulevard. Rounding a corner, Hikaru's head spun from right to left, in search of the long black car. "Where the hell did he par-that is a stop sign-whe,"

"Hitachiin-san?"

After rocketing about a foot into the air, Hikaru spun around to see his driver. "Where's the LIMO!?" By now Hikaru was beginning to draw the eyes of little children. The wee young'uns pointed and were quickly hushed by their mothers, telling them not to stare at crazy people.

"Right here, sir," The driver replied, gesturing to the car directly to the left of the brilliant designer. "Ah, well…gun the engine and let's move! We're gonna be late," Hikaru ordered, diving for the open door, only to smash his head against the frame.

"Mother fu-,"

The chauffer shut the door, cutting off his master's shout of profanity.

* * *

It wasn't long before they reached the building, despite the police cars trailing after them and Hikaru's repeated orders to gun it to sixty-five in a twenty five zone. "You know what to do if the cops find you!" Hikaru said, springing out the door.

"Right sir. Tell them I'm under the orders of a top fashion designer who could have the whole military wearing mini-skirts with one phone call." Hikaru slammed the door with a cry of, "Good man!" With the seconds ticking by, Hikaru raced for the revolving door, forgetting to apologize to the elderly woman who he lodged between the wall and door.

Finally, Hikaru came to a crossroad of life.

The stairs or the elevator?

"It always has to be the highest freaking floor, doesn't it?!" He raged, pressing the 'up' button just a _little_ too hard. Hikaru stared at the bulbs, watching the light descend to his while he impatiently tapped his foot.

Ping.

Tap.

Ping.

Tap.

Ping.

"OH SCREW THIS!"

After some heavy running and a collapsed lung, Hikaru made it to the office. Tumbling against the door of the 913 bureau, he panted like a racehorse. "Gomen-….asai," He apologized, hunching over to hold his aching knees. "I lost track of time and then I couldn't find my lim-,"

Silence.

Hikaru spread his fingers, which were currently resting against his throbbing temples, so he could see why no one had reprimanded him. His head, which felt like it weighed nineteen pounds by the way, pulsed with each breath and realized that he was very much alone in the office. The only sound was the steady 'tick-tock' of the grandfather clock and the 'doki-doki' of his frantic heart. Even though it was his fault for being late, Hikaru couldn't help but feel a sharp jolt of fury.

"Didn't have the patience to wait five freakin' minutes, huh? Lawyers! One second not sending a person to jail is a tragic loss of time! What is Japan coming to?!" Hikaru continued to rant, his lean body screaming out, 'sit in the chair', but his brain was far too busy being caught up in his own ego to listen.

Maybe it was the fact that he was bi-polar, but Hikaru couldn't help but seize the bunny plushy from the desk and repeatedly punch it. Hey, some people do yoga to relieve stress, Hikaru bunches adorable, innocent little rodents.

"_It's the stress that makes me punch bunnehs!"_

Somewhere, Hunny got the feeling that a Bun-Bun brethren was in pain.

Hikaru, poor bunny-massacring, Hikaru whom was wrapped up in his rodent homicide, didn't hear the quick footfalls coming towards the door, nor did he hear the door creak open, but he did hear the voice that followed.

"Gomenasai! Please, understand, my driver hit traffic on the way here, but I'll be happy to hear if you'll overlook this!"

Hikaru stiffened, as if a lightning bolt just struck him, rendering him rigid and disoriented. That voice was familiar-too familiar. His hands started to shake as the voice echoed in his ears over and over in a symphony of apology. His mind was reeling, his heart pounding, no longer bound.

"Are you all right," The voice asked, the sound of heels alerted him that they were edging closer. This haunting figure required an answer, but Hikaru couldn't find his voice through the confusion. His amber eyes, wide as hubcaps, stared straight out in front of him, his body locked in some paralysis.

"Nani," The voice inquired as something warm touched his shoulder. The touch, even through his clothing, burned him. The heat was intense, the electricity outrageous, and the familiarity far too crippling for it to be real. "H-Hai," He choked, his body moving on its own to face the tempting tone.

What he saw, hit him like the crest of a wave.

Bright, luminous chocolate eyes, silky umber hair and the concerned expression of an angel. Those eyes, were what caught him by surprise. The irises seemed to glow with an unnatural radiance, scrutinizing him and banishing him out of hiding. In those chocolate depths, he could see his reflection, just as startled and shaken as he was feeling right now.

She was a song, a symphony without saying one word.

"…Haruhi," He breathed, a notion far too implausible to be true. The young woman's lashes created shadows over her cheeks, the porcelain cheeks that reminded him of a marble vision of the Holy Mother.

…"Hikaru…"

_:D o k i D o k i:_

* * *

Author's Gutter: Well, how do ya'll like them apples? 8D I tried to incorporate a little humor into this one, I hope in worked. o.o

Oh, the few lyrics in the begining are from **RENT**, the song 'I Should Tell You', expect to be seeing more of that!

I'm not sure when I'll have the next chapter up, actually. I promise it won't be quite as long as this time span between these were though. I have off this week from school, so I might take some time to start it then.

That is...if you review. ;D


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